I know I haven’t written anything in awhile so I just wanted to explain that I got a migraine last week. Since it was near impossible to look at screens, I wanted to save every bit of brain power for completing late work for school rather than blog. However, during times that I could not focus at all I would chronicle my thoughts using voice to text.

Here they are, keep in mind this is just brain dump and I have not edited it.

Day 1

For the first time in at least two months, I have a migraine. Because of my new-ish meds, I feel that maybe my tolerance and understanding of migraine pain has shifted over the last few months. I didn’t remember migraines being this debilitating, and I feel very thankful and fortunate that I rarely get them anymore.

I started to feel the headache pain Monday night. However, it was right before bed, so I went to sleep without taking my migraine meds. This was a mistake. The headache did not in fact go away by the time I woke up, and by that point, taking meds was less effective since the migraine started hours ago.

Day 2 – 3

looking at screens for a prolonged amount of time is difficult in and of itself, but reading on screens and basically processing written information in general has been difficult. I struggle with physically focusing my eyes enough to read things clearly and my vision in general is not as good, which puts me at further risk for eyestrain and headaches.

I feel so bad that I cannot do work or go to class. it’s really frustrating to not be able to read or enjoy screens or do any assignments. this experience is awful and I thought it was in the past but it coming back is dredging up old memories of feeling helpless and overwhelmed. I’m in a pile of assignments that I physically cannot do and mentally cannot understand as I usually would, and as the headache continues on the pile only gets larger where my ability to finish them does not improve.

it’s hard to organize my thoughts into more than short choppy sentences because of both the constant and distracting pain and my impaired mental functioning.

I haven’t been able to type or to right much over the past week because of the consecutive physical and mental attacks.

Day 3

while I feel exponentially better than I did at the height of my migraine or even yesterday, I’m certainly not fully recovered from the experience. I still feel that my mind is somewhat foggy and disoriented. I physically feel shaky (knees weak, arms are heavy) and that my body trembles more than usual.

when I can get assignments done, which is very rarely, the task usually doesn’t involve very much brainpower or screen time. in addition I use voice to text for everything writing. it feels that vocally is the only way that I can really explain or process the things that I’m feeling and thinking.

separately it’s been hard to contact teachers or ask for help because I get very anxious and overwhelmed when I write emails or even think about writing emails. it’s something that I can’t really control and I don’t understand but it’s been a sad fact of life for years.