Waning off the will to wield, to hold,
held, the hilt waiting for you to
want it once—
once more, but you whisper
the world still
silent, words slipping away.
Wading in the wake left by
wounds ripping
what was left? you
were wasted, always
wondering, must I
wander more,
finding the handle
held tight, holding tight
as weak wrists could
you wander on?
Old Version:
Waning off the will to wield, to hold,
held, the hilt waiting for you to
want it once—
once more, but you whisper
the world still
silent, words slipping away.
Wading in the wake left by
wounds ripping
what was left? you
were wasted, always
wondering, must I
Wander more,
find the handle
held tight, holding tight
as weak wrists, ask
could you be a hero again
Author’s Note:
Can you tell what kind of person this is? Am I making it obvious enough that they’re like a retired knight or something? Is that last line too on the nose?
5 responses to “Weary Wandering”
The question I have is he resisting the urge to take up arms again or reminiscing?
A little bit of both. Which do you think works better?
Re, is the poem subject clear: yes
Re, could I be a hero again line:
Yes, too on the nose, but also it abruptly introduces a new idea about virtue/heroics into a poem about age, health, reminiscence, past achievement or ability.
I like the ambiguity about what he wants – he’s not sure. “Must I wander more” is so great.
Love weary in the title. Not sure about traveler. Could have a word with a more appropriately-flexible meaning.
the hilt part told me it was a sword being discussed, but my brain went to a dark place with like a depressed person who couldn’t fight anymore (it’s been that kind of day! seeing all my patients in your poem) rather than a knight who was too tired to fight. but now that you say that, totally!!!
I didn’t catch it was a knight on first read, but I see that now. I was more noting the rhythm and taking a general impression – it felt to me more of a metaphorical journey/struggle and decision whether to go on. The alliteration also reminded me of the Crosby, Stills, and Nash song “Helplessly Hoping” https://youtu.be/kyquqw6GeXk – especially the lyrics:
“Wordlessly watching he waits by the window
And wonders at the empty place inside”
So maybe that association also influenced my reaction.